Disneyland 2006

Erin and the Castle, originally uploaded by jawsmurphy.

i managed to run away from chemistry for the weekend (again), and this time my adventures took me to the (second) happiest place on earth. well, it's pretty close. vegas *is* pretty happy.......

despite jeff and i having the plague, we managed to have a great time. we met up with the healey-wolf clan, and jeff practiced all of his new camera skills taking photos of me and dylan. and i was reminded of how magical disney can be by witnessing the looks of amazement and wonder in dylan's eyes. which, or course, brings out the kid in me. (which is never hiding very far)

after a morning of kiddie rides, we met up with the rest of the pants party: jess, holly, laura, and melissa, with a couple of significant others along for the ride. at that point, all bets were off. we had a blast running around the park, trying to pack as much as we possibly could into one fun-filled day.

here's my quick recap:
1. the new space mountain rocks....the music definitely makes the ride more fun
2. buzz lightyear's astro blasters is damn fun (81,900 on my first try.....boo yah!!)
3. the 50th fireworks show is truly amazing, and of course as a techie i was in heaven....
4. jeff looks really cute when he's pretending to be a monkey
5. i miss my girls, and hope that there will be another pants party in the not-too-distant future


now i'm back in lab, trying to be healthy enough to think straight so i can get some work done. i feel like i'm mostly puttering around, doing little odds and ends. i think i'm just scared to jump in and start reactions, cause i don't want to mess up. plus there's always the possibility of blowing stuff up, which, while entertaining momentarily, would really suck.

oh, and i passed another cumulative exam...so i only have one more to go, and 8 more tries. woo hoo!!!

that's it for now. once i get the rest of the photos off of my camera, i'll post them. and i have to give all the credit to jeff, since he was camera man for the day. = )

Posted by *erin* | 11:55 AM |

weeeeeeee!

Posted by *erin* | 11:36 AM |

and just so you know...

Posted by *erin* | 2:19 AM |

grad student perspectives

Prospectives, originally uploaded by jawsmurphy.

today i had a chance to talk with some more prospective grad students. and it's crazy. not only looking at them and thinking that i was in that situation a year ago. but just seeing how far i've come. and thinking about how much their lives are going to change in a few short months.

first of all, they are going to have their confidence shaken. i don't care if they came from cal tech and already have a masters. chances are, they are going to feel like an idiot at some point. we all do. and it's hard going from being the top of your school to merely a mediocre student. (or somewhere near the top...either way). and even if you were the top or somewhere close, everyone seems to adjust and progress through grad school in their own way. i've managed to figure out the best way for me to get through classes. and it's been working for me so far. though it did take awhile for me to get the true hang of it. now i just have to tackle starting up research this quarter...

another thing i think about when talking with grad students is how they still have some pretty important decisions to make. i remember thinking that picking a school was tough. picking and advisor is even harder. it's like choosing who you want to have a relationship with for the next 4-5 years of your life, for better or worse. and these are (probably) the most crucial years of your life. career-wise, anyways. kinda puts the pressure on.

they're also gonna have to figure out what type of research interests them. that's the point i'm at. i've picked the right school for me, and i picked the right boss for me. now i have to figure out the research project that will fit me best. i have a couple different ones to start on to get me going, but the whole point of this crazy experience is for me to learn to be an independent researcher. which is a frightening thought, because at this point, i feel no where near being able to accomplish that. though i was also scared out of my mind for classes and cumes, and i've been handling those fairly well. so hopefully my research will progress much the same way.

i can't believe i'm almost done with my first year. most people agree that it's the hardest. sure, every year and every step of the way i know i'm gonna encounter challenges and obstacles i'll have to overcome. but this first year is and has been a rough one. i feel as though i've been completely broken down. i've learned to accept that i'm not a perfect chemist, and that i don't know everything. and perhaps most importantly, that i'm really not *expected* to know everything. rather, i'm being taught what's out there and what is possible. and i'm being shown the references to go to when i want to learn more about something. and i think that accepting that has made the difference for me in classes and cumes. kind of like doing my best and letting the cards fall where they may. so far, things have been in my favor.

now i have to start the next hurdle: research. past that, it's (semi) smooth sailing thru my first year report, second year seminar, and my oral. which of course will rock me. but then that's it. past that, i'll be done with two years, and have only research ahead of me. that, and writing up my thesis, of course. but one of the nice things about ucla is that i don't have to do a defense of my thesis. they stop making us jump through hoops after our second year. at that point, we have either proven ourselves enough to move on and get our degree, or it's time for us to get out and settle for a masters. brutal, i know. but at least we get the nervewracking parts out of the way somewhat early. (and the good news is that after this quarter is over, i'll be able to leave with a masters at any point because i will have earned it)


k i'm getting lost in the grad school ramblings. (it is almost 2 am, after all) but one of the points i wanted to make was that it's very odd for me to be in charge of talking to these prospective grad students who have all of this ahead of them. it's a rocky ride getting to the point i'm at, and i still have quite a ways to go. part of me wants to tell them to run for their lives while they still can. another part of me wants to laugh at their innocence. but mostly, i know that this is something that they are going to do, because they won't be satisfied as just a bachelor's chemist, and i know that no matter what i try to tell them about how the first year truly is, it's something that everyone has to experience for themselves to fully understand just how insanely crazy and rewarding it can be. so in a way, the questions asked in the comic above are absolutely based in truth, and are actually quite good things for them to think about. though, most of the prospectives don't know that yet, and wouldn't believe me if i told them.......

Posted by *erin* | 1:53 AM |

new quarter

Posted by *erin* | 10:43 PM |