this is it...

this is my last night before life as i know it changes. before i find out what i'm in for for the next 4 or 5 years of my life. tomorrow morning i officially start graduate school. and right now i'm this weird mix of nervous anxiety and complete nausea. well, maybe it's not that bad. but i keep flipping back and forth between feeling ready to jump in to see what i'm up against, and feeling like there's no way in hell that this is what i want to be doing with the next 4+ years of my life. i feel both serenely ready for my exam tomorrow morning, and scared to death about it. i wish i could somehow wake up and have the test be over with, and get to just move on with things. arghhhh. i think it's just this waiting for the past few months that has been killing me. i'm hoping that once i get in the middle of it all, i'll find my balance and be able to handle it. (sounds so easy, right?)

the good news is that i guess the class i'm TAing is basically a survey of organic for environmental science majors. or as it was told to me by the guys in my lab, "organic for retards". lovely. those guys really do have a way with words. (and lots of tact, too). so i guess i'll be in charge of leading discussion sections, and most likely coming up with homework and quizzes for them. but at least i can be totally confident that i will know much more than them. i had these nightmares of some undergrad chem student asking me questions i couldn't answer, and feeling like a complete moron. i guess there's always the chance for that to happen, but at least now that chance is slim to none.

so everyone think smart thoughts for me at about 10 am tomorrow, cause that's when i'll be taking my placement exam. gotta love the fact that we have to take a test before we even start. and if things go really horribly, maybe i'll just pack up and head back to slo to be a barista again. = )

Posted by *erin* | 9:23 PM